I have this vision, in which crocheting plays a role.
Each creative expression a tool for developing a universal approach.
How I mean is, it’s truly not the thing that is produced that is the teaching, it’s in coming to understand how the process supports our development as interconnected, universally-oriented beings of a much larger, divinely-orchestrated plan.
How I do one thing is how I do everything, so by giving myself the time and space to develop through a creative endeavor that sparks something deep, something true, something inspirational inside of me, then I get to better learn myself as the process of creativity finding its expression in the material/physical world.
Where along the path of vision to public offering am I most in cahoots?
For me, it’s in the visioning and the initial steps of gathering resources for its possibility. For me, it lies within the initial execution of learning a pattern and then doing it my way.
For me, I experience a stamp of confidence when I link up what I am creating with some intrinsic or personal meaning. I am not a doer just to do, I enjoy the rush of excitement I get when I can create a purpose that supports conscious development.
With crocheting as a tool for conscious development, I get to meet the aspect of self that rejoices in receiving external validation for my efforts of seeing a vision through to manifestation. This, to me, supports the building of an inner confidence of a personal creativity meeting some social need. This is when I become greater than just myself, when what I create serves a function in the world.
Where along the path of vision to public offering am I most vulnerable? Where do I experience feelings of inadequacy? In other words, in what area of consciousness am I in the process of developing more skillfully?
Continuing to use the process of crocheting as a tool, I notice the cyclical shifting of my intrinsic value system. The meaning I give to a project, its “why” is undergoing its own evolutionary process. I realize that when I place a personal, solely-self driven purpose to my creations, its lifespan is temporary.
For instance, giving a why to a creative expression as a means to develop financial stability creates within me these feelings of insatiable hunger and honestly, narrow-minded thinking. Over time, I become a factory, doing just to do, losing the spark, the excitement, and the connection to a much higher vision that I am supporting through my creative expression.
I often cycle around to reevaluating my why. Ever attempting to come up with some creative loophole where creative expression meets some self-fulfilling reason. But each time, no matter what reason I give, when creative expression does not attempt to serve as a function for furthering the development of a collective consciousness, I feel my most inadequate. I feel the depths of not-enoughness. I swim in feelings of overwhelm to the state of humanity. I feel how deeply poignantly I am not living up to my self-defined responsibility to influence change for the better.
I stir up the all-too familiar martyr. I swirl in her shadow qualities because that’s where I am asked to bring the light of my creativity. This is the area within my own consciousness I oscillate, moving light between self-sacrifice and soul development.
Soul development will always look towards applying self expression to a greater cause, by first developing qualities within a person akin to itself.
So when I share that crocheting is a tool for personal development, I understand that those areas of the creation process where I experience impatience and frustration, for example, are directly linked to the areas within my own consciousness I can develop so that the presence of a unified force can come through. Because soul is akin to love, and love is the synergy of balancing opposing forces. It is the pause, the ever-present now; and it is a felt experience where all is sensed as good and right. So when the sense is anything other than this, that is where I know I am growing.
I know I am growing in the right direction when I meet self-deprecating feelings with acceptance, because I know that acceptance is the quickest path towards harmony, synergy, love, soul. When I usher in acceptance, I am linking awareness time and time again with understanding. What I understand is that every thought, every feeling, every doing is an opportunity to lift the eyes and gaze ever longingly back onto the vision of being and becoming an instrument of Divine Order. Of developing and refining myself in such a way that I can be The Hand that serves, The Mouth that sings true, and The Feet that vibrate the frequency of Love.
I need only return to this knowing, continue with those practices that strengthen my connection to Presence, to Soul, to Love, and to create from the One source that is experienced as many.
In this way, I am rewriting my own story of self-sacrifice that aligns with its truest essence, a fully-developed personality response-able to serve at the evolutionary level I am designed to becoming.
So whilst crocheting as an art form is not the ultimate form my soul wishes to express itself, it does offer for this time an opportunity to develop skills of patience, focus, and precision. An opportunity to be aware of my bodyform and those feelings and thoughts that rise up when I meet a mistake or an instruction I have not yet become familiar. A chance to become curious as to why I am doing what I am doing, what is stoking these feelings I am feeling, where am I tensing, why am I rushing, how can I invite into this moment greater awareness of presence and soul?
In this way, the process of creating becomes a means for conscious development. Building blocks paving my yellow brick road.
Originally Published on February 27, 2024 on Medium.com
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